700|9|90|9|50|40
A vision: 1994 in the Mohave desert near 29 palms
Category: 768
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6/15/15/12
1998, Notes of some classical piece soar in the stale smoke filled air Vodka sits next to the pad and pen, as I slowly choke down another hit of the foul liquid Ridden with lice I itch my crawling scalp and stare at the paintings starring back at me “Is this where I am suppose to be?” I think, (as… Continue reading "6/15/15/12"
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2|1|60|8|50|30|5|100
Nov. 1999 Psalms 119: 121-128 “I have done justice and righteousness; leave me not to mine oppressors.” Nothing, I have nothing, it’s time to go. All promises are broken, my blood dripping fetid from inside. My heart grey and torn. There are no options left, my emotions are wasted. I took the path of Teferith to Binah and fell through Daath. The… Continue reading "2|1|60|8|50|30|5|100"
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5|80|30 20|50|4|7|5
1.24.99 Well, I ended up in a drunk’n stupor. Then the night lead me to a strange woman’s house. This seems to always happen in LA. Go out, a girl picks me up, I don’t know how I do it. Now, the bad news: ERM died in 1994, he was slowly degrading health wise. The shit was getting pretty bad… Continue reading "5|80|30 20|50|4|7|5"
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8|50|60|5
11.4.98 – The twisted nature of hope Four days and I will be gone, broken free from this cesspool of human waste and demonic fields. New York has always been a dream unrealized. Now it rises up before me. I have only one place to go, with one friend. Many swarm, however their twisted tongues reveal ill intention. For the… Continue reading "8|50|60|5"
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132|90|90|24|90|90
Nov. 1998 – This city use to have a magick about it. She carried her beauty encased in a heavy humid nights and cool shaded days. She pranced around for me, hoping I would be like her. I could never live up to her expectations. I followed and now I’m old, beaten down on the edge of life and nothing.… Continue reading "132|90|90|24|90|90"
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900|1|80-5|300|50|80|3|9|90|100
Jan. 1999 I am starting to see something very disturbing. Why have I not converted until now? The exorcisms right? So many fucking exorcisms that I have made it through (Click here for some accounts). I am an exorcist, perhaps a unconventional one. But, none the less that is what they call me. I have foreseen my older self wandering… Continue reading "900|1|80-5|300|50|80|3|9|90|100"
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900|1|80-2|80|50|100|8|5|80|90
1999 This sword writhes in my hand. I sit here well past midnight in this overly familiar coffee shop. I use to call this place home and dance with the waitresses. The whirlwind of my thoughts rip into the Aethers. The fires of my passions burn pure in yod. The waters of my heart crash on the shores of Binah. … Continue reading "900|1|80-2|80|50|100|8|5|80|90"
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900|1|80-86
Note: This was in the middle of huge magickal battle between me and my former order. As I had been the magister they liked to use all their little black magick tricks, then blame them on me. This war lasted for one hundred and one days and my devout catholic Sifu, was in the middle of all of it with… Continue reading "900|1|80-86"
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114|126|54|18|54|24|30
Nov. 1998 Note: I put this in here, because it was part of a pattern. The people mentioned in this letter were very close to the person I was. This pattern was a reoccurring pattern throughout my time in the abyss. I was running from the Italian mob. I had caught their head enforcer in pedo forums trying to get… Continue reading "114|126|54|18|54|24|30"