:. 648 : Journey Through the abyss. Circa, 1997… Present
Jan. 1999 I am starting to see something very disturbing. Why have I not converted until now? The exorcisms right? So many fucking exorcisms that I have made it through (Click here for some accounts). I am an exorcist, perhaps a unconventional one. But, none the less that is what they call me. I have foreseen my older self wandering… Continue reading "900|1|80-5|300|50|80|3|9|90|100"
1999 This sword writhes in my hand. I sit here well past midnight in this overly familiar coffee shop. I use to call this place home and dance with the waitresses. The whirlwind of my thoughts rip into the Aethers. The fires of my passions burn pure in yod. The waters of my heart crash on the shores of Binah. … Continue reading "900|1|80-2|80|50|100|8|5|80|90"
Note: This was in the middle of huge magickal battle between me and my former order. As I had been the magister they liked to use all their little black magick tricks, then blame them on me. This war lasted for one hundred and one days and my devout catholic Sifu, was in the middle of all of it with… Continue reading "900|1|80-86"
Nov. 1998 Note: I put this in here, because it was part of a pattern. The people mentioned in this letter were very close to the person I was. This pattern was a reoccurring pattern throughout my time in the abyss. I was running from the Italian mob. I had caught their head enforcer in pedo forums trying to get… Continue reading "114|126|54|18|54|24|30"
The sun shines in her eyes as I walk down the mirrored corridors of her enigma. Blankly, religiously, fumbling over words trying to meld with fire. My will slips off her with a shrug. I reach out hard and harm her trying to stick. I slip again… I am always falling short of her in my fears of betrayal. Crawling… Continue reading "6|50|80|40|9|3|1|100|9|50|40"
Oct. 10 1998 The goat in sacred, sacrificial invocations sits looking mesmerized by long, black, stillness. Waiting for the power to rip down the soft blue, silence sitting before it. This drunk sloppy whore stuffs this city inside her bloated body. She is pulling the strings of these pathetic gallows of life wandering in her slime ridden corridors. Yet, a… Continue reading "1 60|80|50|60|8|5|3|400"
Sometime in 1999 I don’t want to look; I fight the unconscious need to turn my head and gaze at one of the most sexy sights I have ever seen. I busy my mind with lost moments. Fifteen bux and my four years of love, sold in the shape of a small metal circle. A grotesque man sits masturbating secretly… Continue reading "3|50|6|6|5|5"
With a heart of fire you destroy, everything unbroken in me. Like a demon , you rip away at my soul. Two to one Soul With hands over my eyes, I hide as I enter. I am lost in the repetition of time wandering painful memory. She’s gone.. Two to one Soul So I run through the ferment, farther than… Continue reading "563-100|8|50|200|7|8|100|90"
8.6.98 – John 12:25 He who loves his life shall loose it and he who hates his life in this world shall keep it forever. Quite a remarkable and powerful string of words from the supposed Christ. A Christ that was a creation of gentiles. Oh the Good Pastor John from bible college would be fuming now. It seems that the… Continue reading "2|50|50|10| 50|6| 600|50|8|40"
Sometime during 1998 I wrote Samson Part I So strange, so strange, Samson has been shaved Like useless sun on petaled rose It fell that day, as it may, now what was long is gone So strange, so strange, hair to change A wave on shore gone in lore The oratory of pain morose and vein dries away in the… Continue reading "3|1|40|100|50|90"