This hill is barren, I am surrounded by death. But, I can’t see it, my mind is floating somewhere in the inner darkness. I knew that I am in a ring of stone, however I am no longer certain it is physically there. For awhile, the higher dimensional makeup of the stones glowed faintly in the dark, that aura faded long ago and time seems to have stopped.
Am I suppose to be hearing my breath?
I am so far away from my body that I am not sure that I can return. Like my breath, I can’t feel it anymore. I’m no longer sure how long I have been sitting here or if I am sitting at all. The darkness is infinite. There is no sound, only the feeling of vibrations against my energy body.
The cosmos begin to open up to me, like the birth of a child falling into life. I have been here the entire time, moving through large swaths of space in between galaxies. Is this what the God really is? A mindless mass of stars and planets?
As I am god to the cell in my vain, I am the cell in the vain of god.
I feel desolation. Where is this God? I can see and perceive everything. The universe is vast and mindless, there is no hope. There is no more life, life is a fabrication. The vibration is odd in the vast image of the machine. A quiet voice around me says this is the first step to the beyond. But, I am not sure, my thoughts are feeling and feeling is different than before. I know that my emotion was a chemical reaction and now, it is pure energy.
I visit my favorite places in this universe. Still, I am only following past human information. Images that I have seen flood me, they are all a lie. Everything from my life is derelict and empty. The steps to heaven are unseen and impossible to climb.
My words vibrate into the emptiness between matter, “Where are you I have come so far?”
No answer returns and I’m panicking now. I have to be alive and in that stone circle or I have died and I am in hell.